Intentional Leadership

Last night's Men's Conference on Intentional and Thoughtful leadership was a good night of food, fellowship, and encouragement for spiritual growth.  
This post is not meant to be an overview of the whole night.  It is more, some takeaways and thought I took from the evening.

If there are any takeaways you would like to share, leave them in the comments section.  

In the opening remarks, Pastor Jason reminded the men that there is often a disconnect between who we know we should be (better husband, better father, better worker, and ultimately a better man of God) and what we actually do and think.  This disconnect is between intentionality and thoughtfulness.

This intentionality is not about personalities and practicalities.  If you are a follower of Christ, you are commanded to be intentional throughout scripture.  Pastor Jason shared these verses.

• Set your minds on things above…” (Col. 3:2)
• “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature…” (Col. 3:5)
• “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness…”(Mt. 6:33)
• “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” (Rom. 12:9)
• “Honor one another above yourselves.” (Rom. 12:10)
• “Be very careful then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…“ (Eph. 5:15-16)
• “…make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” (Rom. 14:19)
• “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.” (Prv. 27:12)
• “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.” (2 Cor. 13:5)
• “Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.” (1 Jn. 5:21)
• “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing…” (Heb. 10:24-25)
• “This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways.” (Hag. 1:7)
• “Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives…” (1 Pet. 3:7)

The panel times were filled with good questions from Pastor Jason and each of the tables.

I (Pastor Dave) want to revisit three of the questions.  Each of the questions is a paraphrase of what was actually asked.

There were many great challenges tonight for men and for husbands.   What are we to do after the conference time?  How do we incorporate all of the things we were challenged with?

I want to tweak the answer I gave last night because it was specifically addressed to men with children.  This answer is relatively the same 

 The more general answer is HOPE, LOVE, and DO ONE THING. 

HOPE includes praying for yourself and others. 

LOVE those God has brought in your life (wife, kids, co-workers, friends).  Think about how you could better love others.  Don't focus on doing more stuff. 

DO ONE THING.  Pick one thing to work on.  Remember ONE THING is better than nothing. 

I know this overwhelming feeling happens at the end of any conference, which is why the Church Ministries Conference decided to create a pre-conference workshop video (10 minutes long) on "How to Attend a Conference."  While this video talks about our church and ministry ideas, I can also be applied to our loved ones and personal holiness.  

 With all of the things going on in the world around us, what advice do you have for families with young children?

Remember you are not the answer to your childrens' needs.  Jesus is. 

I got a little emotional when answering this question because it is a question I struggle with as dad.  And I want to protect my kids.  I always need to be reminded that in this world my goal needs to be godly living for myself and my family.  Not necessarily easy or safe.  I want my children to grow in the hope they have in Jesus Christ because "he who promised is faithful (See Hebrews 10:23)

I am not going to be able to help them through every problem, difficulty, challenges, and sin they will face but I can help them see how to love God more and live a godly life (See Hebrews 10:24).  

A great resource, not mentioned last night, is Tim Challies' Do More Better www.challies.com/do-more-better/
The author offers a definition of productivity that is very similar to Pastor Jason's explanation of being intentional.

ONLINE RESOURCES

• Articles about Intentional Parenting by Pastor Dave at tbcgrkidz.org
• Articles by Pastor Jason at www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org
• Trinity Life Podcast Episodes at www.anchor.fm/tbcgr
• Dave Branon on career choices and using retirement well (1/24/23)
• Steve DeMan on leadership habits and mistakes (2/12/23)
• Kurt Ellis on leadership habits and mistakes (12/18/22)
• Zac Harmon on growing up in church and serving Christ as a young adult (10/18/22)
• Garrett Jones on cultivating relationships and leading a family (12/22/22)
• Sam Plakmeyer on marriage, using time well, and church involvement (11/19/22)
• Richard Van Vels on game nights and evangelism (10/16/22)

BOOK RESOURCES

• 10 Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health
• 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You
• The Disciple Making Parent's Donut Date Journal:   70 Questions to Connect to Your Child's Heart
• Disciplines of a Godly Man
• Discipling:  How to Help Others Follow Jesus
• The Exemplary Husband
• Habits of the Household, Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms
• Service:  How Do I Give Back?
• Spiritual Leadership

Time for the Talk

 This Sunday night (3/12/23) is Trinity's Men Conference - Intentional and Thoughtful Leadership.  I thinking about and preparing for the panel discussion time, I was reminded of this post I shared on 9/16/14.

Zollos writes that the talk is not a specific one-time conversation you have with your son.  It is  "a process that takes many years and can be profoundly rewarding."

While this book is written specifically to fathers, it contains a preface to mothers.
It's up to you to show him that becoming a true man depends on being changed by the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit to the glory of God.

Here are some quotes from the book...

Your young man needs conviction and these cannot come from you.  Convictions come from hearing the LORD.

The book talks about developing these six characteristics in your son.

HUMILITY
To pursue humility means choosing to accept the fact that your knowledge and abilities are limited and in light of that, you are regularly seeking help and graciously receiving advice and correction.

COURAGE
To pursue courage means choosing to do what is right despite the opposition of others or your own desires (often the more difficult enemy to fight).

PURITY
To pursue moral purity means choosing to live by the highest moral principles in both speech and physical relations despite your own desires to do otherwise and despite any external pressures to compromise.

FAITHFULNESS
To pursue faithfulness means acting with integrity, keeping your word, and doing what is right before God, with fortitude, and without complaint, because you trust God to give you the ability to complete all things he has given you to do.

SELFLESSNESS
To pursue selflessness means placing the well-being of others before your own needs and desires.

SELF-CONTROL
To pursue self-control means to live according to the Spirit of God, choosing to glorify God with our lives and denying the sinful nature when tempted to do otherwise. 

Best Parenting is Done by Prayer - Article

When we talk about ways to help our family, friends, church, and even our children, we usually want to know the stuff to do.  You may know what I am talking about:

the books to read that we might not read,
the disciplines to do that we try for a couple of weeks or even a couple of days,
the conversations to have with our children that never seem to happen.  

Your Best Parenting Is Done by Prayer by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson is a great reminder of one thing we all need to do as parents who want to grow and want our children to grow closer and closer to God through Jesus Christ.  

"As parents, we are all on a mission from the Lord to announce the love of the Father to our children and to encourage them, as much as we can, to believe it. We’re to tell them of the law so that they know that they need rescue, and then we’re to tell them of the Rescuer who has freed them from the law’s curse. But this monumental task is utterly impossible for us to accomplish on our own. We need rescue; we need a Rescuer too. So we need to pray for help." (Emphasis mine)

We need to pray for help!
We need to depend upon Jesus Christ more and more!!

Ultimately, through prayer, we need to trust our children to God.

Baptism and Communion

This is a longer post designed to help you talk with your child about Baptism and Communion.

This past Sunday, the sermon from Acts 2:37 - 41 contained the statement "Repent and Be Baptized."

This upcoming Sunday, we are going to be celebrating communion.

Our website states "We believe that the two ordinances of the local church are Baptism (the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) and the Lord's Supper (partaking of the bread and the cup to memorialize Christ's death and anticipate his second coming)."

Baptism and Communion are physical, experiential reminders of what God has done in our salvation. 

Baptism provides the believer with the one-time opportunity to proclaim to the church and the world that through Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection, the believer has been saved from sin, brought into a new life, and radically changed.

Communion provides an ongoing, regular reminder that Jesus' body was broken and blood was shed for the redemption of sin.  This time in the service provides the opportunity for reflection and celebration.

Some thoughts to remember about your child and baptism.

The italicized information below is taken directly from www.tvcresources.net/resource-library/articles/how-to-talk-with-your-children-about-baptism-and-communion/

• Baptism tells a story of being rescued from sin by Jesus through faith in His death and resurrection.
• Being baptized does not save you. Placing your faith in Jesus alone saves you. Baptism is a picture of what God has already done in the heart of a believer.
• When someone is baptized, that person shares a brief testimony so that other believers might hear of God’s grace, rejoice in His saving work and worship Him together.

It might also be helpful to explain to your child what they see when someone is baptized.

• When the person stands in the water before being baptized, that represents their life before trusting Jesus. They were alive to sin, following and obeying it as their master.
• When the person is put completely underneath the water, that represents the fact that they died to sin when they became a believer; they turned away from sin to follow Jesus.
• When the person comes up out of the water and is completely wet, that represents the new life they have because of Jesus. They have been washed clean from sin – not because their bodies are wet but because they have been forgiven by God because of Jesus’ death in their place.

Some thoughts to remember about your child and communion.

The information below is taken directly from www.tvcresources.net/resource-library/articles/should-my-child-take-communion/

Some thoughts to remember

• In the Bible, there is no age of accountability or prescribed requirement.  The only prerequisite is that the participant is a follower of Jesus Christ.
• Never rush communion.  It's not magical so taking it sooner than later will not keep your kids from sin or earn them extra favor with God.
• Communion requires proper mental understanding and meaning spiritual reflection to hold significance.
• No one knows your child better than you and when it comes to a decision like this, trust the Lord's guidance and your discernment as a parent.
• Be prayerful about the matter.

What to look for:

• Have they given a convincing profession of faith in Jesus?
• Are they showing fruit and evidence of conversion through obedience to and love for Jesus?
• Do they understand and can they articulate the significance of communion?

A conversation about communion should include the following:

What is Communion?

Make sure they understand what communion is and what communion isn’t. I recommend starting with Jesus’ institution of the Lord’s Supper in Luke 22. Talk about what Jesus was teaching when He spoke to His disciples and how we continue to remember Jesus broken body and shed blood. Be sure to explain that what we are doing is symbolic and not literal. We are not literally drinking Jesus’ blood and eating His body. Communion is not magical.

Why Do We Take Communion?

Teach your child that we take communion because Jesus instructed us to and as a way of remembering and celebrating what He did for us. 1 Corinthians 11:26 tells us that as often as we eat of the bread and drink the cup, we proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes again. 

How Do We Take Communion?

Coach your child through the logistics and the spirit of taking communion. Communion is done differently at every church, so coach them on the proper way to receive and the proper time to partake of the bread and juice. Also, help and encourage them to be in the right mindset. 1 Corinthians 11 gives personal instructions for taking communion and tells a believer to “examine himself” before eating and drinking.

On a personal note, Krista and I have made the decision in our faith to teach our children that the one-time act of baptism comes before the repeated act of communion.  This has provided us with a teaching framework in our home.  You may have a different way to do it in your home.  But make sure that you are teaching that...

Salvation is by grace through faith
Salvation results in a radically changed, obedient life.